Midwife and Doula Mentoring and Supervision

Have you ever had a bad shift at work or witnessed a distressing event in the course of your work? You may find it difficult to talk to your partner or friends (even if you keep the details confidential), because they don’t understand most of the medical terms. You can’t discuss with your colleagues because they are equally as stressed, and you don’t want to burden them. You may have had CBT or counselling but still would like to talk through the incident in confidence. Does the incident replay in your mind and you question your decisions and actions? Would talking it through with an experienced midwife help? I am offering a non judgemental space in which to offload. This is not counselling. This is active, nonjudgmental listening and confidential mentoring. If you are deeply traumatised I will recommend a visit to your GP, occupational health department, counselling or psychotherapy.

About me: I was an Independent and nhs midwife who practiced for 21 years. I was also a registered nurse for 17 years before that before leaving the midwifery and nursing register in 2021. I have worked in hospital and the community, as well as being an occupational health nurse in the manufacturing industry. I also have a certificate in counselling skills and a Dip H.Ed in Antenatal education.

How I can help: As a former midwife I understand the pressure of working for the NHS and as an Independent Midwife. I have a long history of mentoring midwives which started when I was a young midwife working in  SCBU. The staff were very supportive because it was such a high stress area. When I personally needed support after a traumatic case when I first qualified I got great support through my union, but none from the hospital. I couldn’t move past the trauma and returned to nursing 18 months after qualifying. I explored a variety of therapies and vowed never to return to midwifery. Occupational health nursing then allowed me to more opportunity to develop my listening skills, and learn the connection between stress in the workplace and physical health. I took a counselling course in 1994 (RSA certificate) to learn more about active listening and discovered I have skills in this area. I did return to midwifery practice in 2002 after a 12 year break and worked for 3 years in a birth centre. I was dismissed from this job when I took on an independent midwifery client, but didn’t pursue a case against the HOM who dismissed me.

I’ve failed to get jobs because I’m not a yes person, and have sadly witnessed the bullying of midwives and doulas on many occasions.

Becoming an independent midwife enabled me to personally experience a few supervisory investigations, and a child death review following traumatic cases. I’ve watched and supported several colleagues through supervisory and NMC investigations, and I’ve lost count of the numbers of desperate midwives and student midwives who’ve contacted me for support over the years.

Common themes are: an allegation from client or colleague; bullying from a colleague; facing a supervisory investigation; feeling overwhelmed by midwifery training, or when newly qualified; feeling overloaded or burnt out and wondering if they should leave the profession.

My Service: I offer hour long mentoring sessions by zoom or phone. Please contact me on 07939247462 or email joy@birthjoy.co.uk for further information.

“Dear Joy, you’re definitely perfectly suited to doing midwife mentoring! I can honestly say, as a midwife myself I know the importance of confidentiality combined with the deep need for debriefing after a challenging situation. Joy has a very talented listening ear, I always feel better after talking to her and I’ve known her long enough to be certain that she holds a safe and confidential space.”                (Anonymous independent midwife).

“Dear Joy I’d like mention how I felt following the support you gave me last summer when I faced a very stressful time in midwifery. I met you once at Glastonbury festival, I recognised you immediately Its like I’ve known you all my life, that’s how I felt when I first said hello to you. And when I needed someone to talk to I instinctively turned to you. You listened, understood, empathised and responded to my fears. Following our conversation I took it in my stride, did my best and trusted. I can’t thank you enough Joy you are an amazing woman, colleague and friend.” “Thank you Joy and I wish your new venture the success it deserves. You have always been there for me over the years as a compassionate and wise friend. The day I called you in distress about a stillbirth you dropped everything to talk with me and also immediately sent helpful literature and a little sculpture through the post to arrive the next day. I have always been impressed not only by your wisdom and warmth but by your professionalism. You hold a special place in my heart and life – thank you. Words are inadequate Joy, you’re a real inspiration (I really mean that) and I love the way you live your life with integrity and authenticity.” (Nicky, midwife).

“After being absorbed by on-line birthy groups for a while and following key players in the birth world, I was captured by Joy. Aside her kind eyes and gentle voice, I could almost feel her steady commitment, love and passion for supporting women on their chosen journey through the maternal year .. and I’ve no doubt long before and afterwards! What she speaks of seems to bring together the range of what I know and hear spoken. I’m inspired by the time she gives, the space she holds, the open-hearted way she reaches out to women, the loving care she shares and the faith and honour she has for normal birth.” (Lisa, doula).